How the Fatuous Wish of a Peasant Came True

An excellent peasant,Of character pleasant,Once lived in a hut with his wife.He was cheerful and docile,But such an old fossilYou wouldn’t meet twice in your life.His notions were all without reason or rhyme,Such dullness in any one else were a crime,But the folly pig-headedTo which he was weddedWas so deep imbedded,it touched the sublime!

He frequently statedSuch quite antiquatedAnd singular doctrines as these:“Do good unto others!All men are your brothers!”(Of course he forgot the Chinese!)He said that all men were made equal and free,(That’s true if they’re born on our side of the sea!)That truth should be spoken,And pledges unbroken:(Now where, by that token,would most of us be?)

One day, as his pottageHe ate in his cottage,A fairy stepped up to the door;Upon it she hammered,And meekly she stammered:“A morsel of food I implore.”He gave her sardines, and a biscuit or two,And she said in reply, when her luncheon was through,“In return for these dishesOf bread and of fishesThe first of your wishesI’ll make to come true!”

That nincompoop peasantAccepted the present,(As most of us probably would,)And, thinking her bountyTo turn to account, heSaid: “Now I’ll do somebody good!I won’t ask a thing for myself or my wife,But I’ll make all my neighbors with happiness rife.Whate’er their conditions, Henceforward, physiciansAnd indispositionsThey’re rid of for life!”

These words energeticThe fairy’s propheticAnnouncement brought instantly true:With singular quicknessEach victim of sicknessWas made over, better than new,And people who formerly thought they were doomedWith almost obstreperous healthiness bloomed,And each had some platitude,Teeming with gratitude,For the new attitudelife had assumed.

Our friend’s satisfactionConcerning his actionWas keen, but exceedingly brief.The wrathful conditionOf every physicianIn town was surpassing belief!Professional nurses were plunged in despair,And chemists shook passionate fists in the air:They called at his dwelling,With violence swelling,His greeting repellingwith arrogant stare.

They beat and they battered,They slammed and they shattered,And did him such serious harm,That, after their labors,His wife told the neighborsThey’d caused her excessive alarm!They then set to work on his various ills,And plied him with liniments, powders, and pills,And charged him so dearlyThat all of them nearlyMade double the yearly amount of their bills.

This Moral by the tale is taught: —The wish is father to the thought.(We’d oftentimes escape the worstIf but the thinking part came first!)