The Tragical Comedy of Punch and Judy

My wife is a beautiful darling,And though her tongue goes like a starling,We seldom have fighting or snarling.Her voice is delightful to hear!But take care you don't get too near;Sometimes her behaviour is queer:With her hands she has always been handy.I must doctor my face with some brandy,And sweetened with white sugar-candy,I'll take it inside, never fear.