The Dream (Gilbert)

I dreamt (I was deep inThe middle of sleepin')That as it was leap-year, the ladies — the ladies,Young bachelors stopping,Forthwith began poppingThe question-which bold Jim afraid is — afraid is.

My slavey she swore,As she knelt on the floor(I was cautioned by many a leer of it — leer of it),She lived but for me,If I'd only love she!But I told her that I wouldn't hear of it — hear of it.

An elderly dame,She confessed to a flame(Though she's older by far than my mother — my mother)Which, dreading my jeers,For a number of yearsShe had struggled, but vainly, to smother — to smother.

So many a mile,To the source of the Nile,She had made up her mind she would carry me — carry me;And having got there,For a wedding prepare,For she fully intended to marry me — marry me!

Attractive young girls,And old maidens in curls(I ascribe it to faulty digestion — digestion),And ladies of rank,Young and plump, old and lank,All set to work popping the question — the question!

And I thought one and all,Thin and fat, short and tall,The alternative gave of a match or law — match or law!Which opened my eyesWith excessive surprise,For I am not a popular bachelor — bachelor.