The Working Monarch

RISING early in the morning,We proceed to light our fire,Then our Majesty adorningIn its work-a-day attire,We embark without delayOn the duties of the day.

First, we polish off some batchesOf political despatches,And foreign politicians circumvent;Then, if business isn't heavy,We may hold a Royal levée,Or ratify some Acts of Parliament:Then we probably review the household troops—With the usual "Shalloo humps!" and "Shalloo hoops!"

Or receive with ceremonial and stateAn interesting Eastern Potentate.After that we generallyGo and dress our private valet—(It's a rather nervous duty—he a touchy little man)—Write some letters literaryFor our private secretary—He is shaky in his spelling, so we help him if we can.Then, in view of cravings inner,We go down and order dinner;Or we polish the Regalia and the Coronation Plate—Spend an hour in titivatingAll our Gentlemen-in-Waiting;Or we run on little errands for the Ministers of State.Oh, philosophers may singOf the troubles of a King;Yet the duties are delightful, and the privileges great;But the privilege and pleasureThat we treasure beyond measureIs to run on little errands for the Ministers of State!

After luncheon (making merryOn a bun and glass of sherry),If we've nothing in particular to do.We may make a Proclamation,Or receive a Deputation—Then we possibly create a Peer or two.Then we help a fellow creature on his pathWith the Garter or the Thistle or the Bath:Or we dress and toddle off in semi StateTo a festival, a function, or a fête.Then we go and stand as sentryAt the Palace (private entry),

Marching hither, marching thither, up and down and to and fro,While the warrior on dutyGoes in search of beer and beauty(And it generally happens that he hasn't far to go).He relieves us, if he's able,Just in time to lay the table,Then we dine and serve the coffee; and at half-past twelve or one,With a pleasure that's emphatic.We retire to our atticWith the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done.Oh, philosophers may singOf the troubles of a King,But of pleasures there are many and of troubles there are none;And the culminating pleasureThat we treasure beyond measureIs the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done!