Twelfe Night — Act 3 Scene 1

Enter Viola and Clowne.

Vio.Saue thee Friend and thy Musick: dost thou liue by thy Tabor?

Clo.No sir, I liue by the Church.

Vio.Art thou a Churchman?

Clo.No such matter sir, I do liue by the Church: For, I doliue at my house, and my house dooth stand by the Church.

Vio.So thou maist say the Kings lyes by a begger, if abegger dwell neer him: or the Church stands by thy Tabor,if thy Tabor stand by the Church.

Clo.You haue said sir: To see this age: A sentence isbut a cheu'rill gloue to a good witte, how quickely thewrong side may be turn'd outward.

Vio.Nay that's certaine: they that dally nicely withwords, may quickely make them wanton.

Clo.I would therefore my sister had had no name Sir.

Vio.Why man?

Clo.Why sir, her names a word, and to dallie withthat word, might make my sister wanton: But indeede,words are very Rascals, since bonds disgrac'd them.

Vio.Thy reason man?

Clo.Troth sir, I can yeeld you none without wordes,and wordes are growne so false, I am loath to proue,reason with them.

Vio.I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and car'st for nothing.

Clo.Not so sir, I do care for something: but in my consciencesir, I do not care for you: if that be to care for nothingsir, I would it would make you inuisible.

Vio.Art not thou the Lady Oliuia's foole?

Clo.No indeed sir, the Lady Oliuia has no folly, sheewill keepe no foole sir, till she be married, and fooles areas like husbands, as Pilchers are to Herrings, the Husbandsthe bigger, I am indeede not her foole, but hir corrupterof words.

Vio.I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.

Clo.Foolery sir, does walke about the Orbe like theSun, it shines euery where. I would be sorry sir, but theFoole should be as oft with your Master, as with my Mistris:I thinke I saw your wisedome there.

Vio.Nay, and thou passe vpon me, Ile no more withthee. Hold there's expences for thee.

Clo.Now Ioue in his next commodity of hayre, send thee a beard.

Vio.By my troth Ile tell thee, I am almost sicke forone, though I would not haue it grow on my chinne. Isthy Lady within?

Clo.Would not a paire of these haue bred sir?

Vio.Yes being kept together, and put to vse.

Clo.I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia sir, to bringa Cressida to this Troylus.

Vio.I vnderstand you sir, tis well begg'd.

Clo.The matter I hope is not great sir; begging, but abegger: Cressida was a begger. My Lady is within sir. Iwill conster to them whence you come, who you are, andwhat you would are out of my welkin, I might say Element,exitbut the word is ouer worne.

Vio.This fellow is wise enough to play the foole,And to do that well, craues a kinde of wit:He must obserue their mood on whom he iests,The quality of persons, and the time:And like the Haggard, checke at euery FeatherThat comes before his eye. This is a practice,As full of labour as a Wise-mans Art:For folly that he wisely shewes, is fit;But wisemens folly falne, quite taint their wit.

Enter Sir Toby and Andrew.

To.Saue you Gentleman.

Vio.And you sir.

And.Dieu vou guard Monsieur.

Vio.Et vouz ousie vostre seruiture.

An.I hope sir, you are, and I am yours.

To.Will you incounter the house, my Neece is desirousyou should enter, if your trade be to her.

Vio.I am bound to your Neece sir, I meane she is thelist of my voyage.

To.Taste your legges sir, put them to motion.

Vio.My legges do better vnderstand me sir, then Ivnderstand what you meane by bidding me taste my legs.

To.I meane to go sir, to enter.

Vio.I will answer you with gate and entrance, but we are preuented.Enter Oliuia, and Gentlewoman.Most excellent accomplish'd Lady, the heauens raineOdours on you.

And.That youth's a rare Courtier, raine odours, wel.

Vio.My matter hath no voice Lady, but to your ownemost pregnant and vouchsafed eare.

And.Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed: Ile get 'emall three already.

Ol.Let the Garden doore be shut, and leaue mee tomy hearing. Giue me your hand sir.

Vio.My dutie Madam, and most humble seruice)

Ol.What is your name?

Vio.Cesario is your seruants name, faire Princesse.

Ol.My seruant sir? 'Twas neuer merry world,Since lowly feigning was call'd complement:y'are seruant to the Count Orsino youth.

Vio.And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:your seruants seruant, is your seruant Madam.

Ol.For him, I thinke not on him: for his thoughts,Would they were blankes, rather then fill'd with me.

Vio.Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughtsOn his behalfe.

Ol.O by your leaue I pray you.I bad you neuer speake againe of him;But would you vndertake another suiteI had rather heare you, to solicit that,Then Musicke from the spheares.

Vio.Deere Lady.

Ol.Giue me leaue, beseech you: I did send,After the last enchantment you did heare,A Ring in chace of you. So did I abuseMy selfe, my seruant, and I feare me you:Vnder your hard construction must I sit,To force that on you in a shamefull cunningWhich you knew none of yours. What might you think?Haue you not set mine Honor at the stake,And baited it with all th' vnmuzled thoughtsThat tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiuingEnough is shewne, a Cipresse, not a bosome,Hides my heart: so let me heare you speake.

Vio.I pittie you.

Ol.That's a degree to loue.

Vio.No not a grize: for tis a vulgar proofeThat verie oft we pitty enemies.

Ol.Why then me thinkes 'tis time to smile agen:O world, how apt the poore are to be proud?If one should be a prey, how much the betterTo fall before the Lion, then the Wolfe?Clocke strikes.The clocke vpbraides me with the waste of time:Be not affraid good youth, I will not haue you,And yet when wit and youth is come to haruest,Your wife is like to reape a proper man:There lies your way, due West.

Vio.Then Westward hoe:Grace and good disposition attend your Ladyship:You'l nothing Madam to my Lord, by me:

Ol.Stay: I prethee tell me what thou thinkst of me?

Vio.That you do thinke you are not what you are.

Ol.If I thinke so, I thinke the same of you.

Vio.Then thinke you right: I am not what I am.

Ol.I would you were, as I would haue you be.

Vio.Would it be better Madam, then I am?I wish it might, for now I am your foole.

Ol.O what a deale of scorne, lookes beautifull?In the contempt and anger of his lip,A murdrous guilt shewes not it selfe more soone,Then loue that would seeme hid: Loues night, is noone.Cesario, by the Roses of the Spring,By maid-hood, honor, truth, and euery thing,I loue thee so, that maugre all thy pride,Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide:Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause:But rather reason thus, with reason fetter;Loue sought, is good: but giuen vnsought, is better.

Vio.By innocence I sweare, and by my youth,I haue one heart, one bosome, and one truth,And that no woman has, nor neuer noneShall mistris be of it, saue I alone.And so adieu good Madam, neuer more,Will I my Masters teares to you deplore.

Ol.Yet come againe: for thou perhaps mayst moueExeunt.That heart which now abhorres, to like his loue.