The Patrician Peacocks and the Overweening Jay

Once a flock of stately peacocksPromenaded on a green,There were twenty-two or three cocks,Each as proud as seventeen,And a glance, however hasty,Showed their plumage to be tasty;Wheresoever one was placed, heWas a credit to the scene.

Now their owner had a daughterWho, when people came to call,Used to say, "You'd reelly oughterSee them peacocks on the mall."Now this wasn't to her credit,And her callers came to dread it,For the way the lady said itWasn't recherché at all.

But a jay that overheard itFrom his perch upon a firDidn't take in how absurd itWas to every one but her;When they answered, "You don't tell us!"And to see the birds seemed zealousHe became extremely jealous,Wishing, too, to make a stir.

As the peacocks fed togetherHe would join them at their lunch,Culling here and there a featherTill he'd gathered quite a bunch;Then this bird, of ways perfidious,Stuck them on him most fastidiousTill he looked uncommon hideous,Like a Judy or a Punch.

But the peacocks, when they saw him,One and all began to haul,And to harry and to claw himTill the creature couldn't crawl;While their owner's vulgar daughter,When her startled callers sought her,And to see the struggle brought her,Only said, "They're on the maul."

It was really quite revoltingWhen the tumult died away,One would think he had been moultingSo dishevelled was the jay;He was more than merely slighted,He was more than disunited,He'd been simply dynamitedIn the fervor of the fray.

And the moral of the versesIs: That short men can't be tall.Nothing sillier or worse isThan a jay upon a mall,And the jay opiniativeWho, because he's imitative,Thinks he's highly decorativeIs the biggest jay of all.